We must lead a holy life
Dear Friends,
Today I come to you not as
a preacher or a biblical scholar; rather I come as a warrior who is defeated in
battle. My defeat has opened my eyes to see few facts regarding spiritual life which
I would like to share with you.
I spend considerable time
in reading Bible, praising God and doing prayers. I frequently observe fast.
But, nothing really helped me overcome temptations. It is truly frustrating. At
times my defeats literally make me a pessimist, bending me to view myself as a
confirmed failure and a good for nothing.
The last time I lost my
battle, I underwent a lot of mental conflict as usual. And one thing I realized
was that it was easier to kill a Goliath than to stop oneself from sleeping
with a Bethsheba. King David loved God enough not to care for his life when he
challenged Goliath who insulted Him. But when it came to overcoming his lust upon
watching Bethsheba bathing, he failed. Not only he did not stop at violating
her chastity, he even went on to murder her husband who remained loyal to him
till the end.
There was time I used to
consider myself a better person than David. I was not mature enough then. It is
only after repeated failures in my spiritual life that my vision got clear
enough to enable me to see myself as I was. Of course, it did not help me
better myself. On the contrary, for such a long time I continued to lose my battles
that very often I thought of giving up my profession as a warrior and retire
myself to lead a civilian life. By civilian life I mean a life that is
confirmed to the ways of the world which lead people away from God. It makes
them friends with the world, and the Scripture says that friendship with the
world is enmity with God. That’s what it is.
But having once known the
truth and walked a long way in its light, it became impossible for me to
confirm to the ways of the world. So I tried to stick to the Way and the Truth
and the Life and kept on failing…consistently. I kept on doing what I did not
want to and did not do what I wanted to. I agreed with St. Paul when he said,
“O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
Unfortunately, my agreement with St. Paul did not make me the man that he was. I
could not go beyond the ‘wretched man’ situation to be able to say,
“For to me, to live is
Christ, and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:12)
So, for a long time I
wondered how the solution he found in Jesus and in the Spirit of God worked
itself out so well in his life. I too believed in Jesus and accepted Him as my
personal Savior. I also received the Spirit of God as the guarantee of all the
promises that I found in Him. Yet I kept on committing sin! How?
I did not find answer to
this question till I lived out more than half of my life. Then, all of a
sudden, one day I realized that all my life I saw only Jesus hanging on the
cross on my behalf, and thanked Him out of my heart of hearts for that. I
thought that if He had not taken upon Himself my sins and suffered for them on
the cross, I myself would have to die on the cross. It was the last thing I
desired.
I loved myself so much
that I never saw myself actually hanging there on the cross with Jesus! I did
not want to see myself hanging there even in my imagination!...Even after hearing
Jesus umpteen times say in Matthew 10: “And he who does not take his cross and
follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he
who loses his life for My sake will find it.”
I never thought that there
was any need to be worthy of Him! I thought what He did for me sufficed to make
me worthy of Him! In other words, I never truly understood what actually He did
for me! How very strange and surprising, isn’t it?
It rendered my faith as
good as dead! It could not lead me to bow down on my knees and say to God,
“…not my will, but Yours, be done.” I could not exercise my free will to
subject it to God’s will. Therefore, the Spirit of God could not help me in spite
of His willingness. How could He help me against my will?
Only when we are ready to
do God’s will in our life, our belief in Christ’s supreme deed on cross is
confirmed. And only when we believe in Jesus in this way, the Spirit of God can
step into our life and fulfill all the promises that we have in Jesus.
Speaking from the point of
view of the present discourse, the Spirit of God takes us out of the order of
the body of sin and subjects us to the order of the spirit. Once in the order
of the spirit, the order of the body of sin has no hold over us. Then, and then
only, we are able to lead a holy life. There is no other way out.
We must lead a holy life;
for that is the purpose why we are called.
It is the greatest
challenge that we, as believers, can face in this world. And we can never meet
it adequately unless we receive help from the Holy Spirit. We can never receive
help from Him unless we seek it from Him. If King David wants to enjoy
Bathsheba’s beauty even though it is sinful, he will not seek the Holy Spirit
to help him overcome his lust. In that case, He will stand by and let him have his
will at his expense.
In this case, faith can
never reach its logical end. Therefore, if we truly believe in Jesus, we should
not mind denying ourselves. It is the way of life. It makes us worthy of Him,
and of all the benefits of the faith that we put in Jesus.
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